Bubblescopes for the week of Monday, November 30th

Aries – DON’T LICK IT. DO. NOT. LICK IT. RESIST THE TEMPTATION.

Taurus – Lick it.

Gemini – Go do weird Gemini things.

Cancer – Get cancer.

Leo – Your favorite color is now red.

Virgo – You will create a masterpiece this week, only for it to be destroyed within a fortnight.

Libra – Pretending to be a whale will prove very practical this week.

Scorpio – ns. Aahh!

Sagittarius – Less porn, more cookies.

Aquarius – Kiss a dork.

Capricorn – You will set a car on fire while sleepwalking. Don’t worry; they’ll arrest someone else, and that will buy you plenty of time to get out of town.

Pisces – Tell all your friends how much you like them and see which ones make out with you!