Bubblescopes for the week of Monday, November 30th
Aries – DON’T LICK IT. DO. NOT. LICK IT. RESIST THE TEMPTATION.
Taurus – Lick it.
Gemini – Go do weird Gemini things.
Cancer – Get cancer.
Leo – Your favorite color is now red.
Virgo – You will create a masterpiece this week, only for it to be destroyed within a fortnight.
Libra – Pretending to be a whale will prove very practical this week.
Scorpio – ns. Aahh!
Sagittarius – Less porn, more cookies.
Aquarius – Kiss a dork.
Capricorn – You will set a car on fire while sleepwalking. Don’t worry; they’ll arrest someone else, and that will buy you plenty of time to get out of town.
Pisces – Tell all your friends how much you like them and see which ones make out with you!