hum hum chirps the spider, hum ho hee
his cold cat call to the sugarplum tree
web spinning, heart singing, eight-legged grin
hum ho hum he chides, happy as sin
chirp chirp chants the mockingbird, chirpy chirrarp
gosh! by golley is that a giraffe?
neck leaning, beak poking, the ring got you good!
there are no giraffes in this neighbourhood
owl sits with pussycat, howls meow twoot meow
one day together, but not right now
an unusual pairing, wouldn’t you say?
word on the street says that pussy is gay?
there, there, my darlings, my sweet little ducks
hum ho chirp chirp, come on you sad fucks
wake up you bastards and turn on your thinkers
you’re ultimately doomed if you’re scared to tinker
this cold cat call to a sugary grave
i dare you to follow me – you said you was brave
tears rolling down your chest, with your poor fractured spine
it’s time for daddy to take back what’s mine
i’ll eke out my seed from your unfortunate eyes
peel off your skin and muffle your cries
my cold cat call to saint sugarplum tree
gave me six fat kids and an arthritic knee